Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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