have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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