soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
