She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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