worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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