Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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