I wish I could punch you in the face.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
