so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
