Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
