Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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