I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize