Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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