Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
