youre lurking in front of me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
