Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
