bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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