Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
