I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
