im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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