I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
