i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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