I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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