sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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