i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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