I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
