There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
