hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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