I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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