Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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