Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
