I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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