So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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