So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
