Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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