we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
