Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
