I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
