I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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