your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
