At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i think my cat just said my name.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
