Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
