my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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