Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
