Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
