I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
