I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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