Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
