the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
