They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
