yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
