escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
