I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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