As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
