dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
