In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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