just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
