If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
