Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
