I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
