Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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