Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize