So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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